Monday, January 28, 2008

The Last Piaster


The bold words were to be used in order and without alteration. Not an easy task, not an easy piece but it's done. If you're up for a little mind stretch go to The Last Piaster and try the experimentals listed there - a challenging boggle.

**

The moon, broken off like sunlight wrinkles

water, opened a spotlight on a red flower

brilliant as blood on fresh fallen snow.

Her fingers, delicate as swan's breast,

gathered the rose from its naked place where
the island stretches off the coast like a rock

on your path that makes you seize up,
makes your backbone rigid like a lightpole
screening bad news while the bicycle careening

down the hill like
a runaway forgets time
can be soft as the eyes on that crazy bird,

its song like a drumbeat of fear, who

chants out its tale. She spun of like visions,

humming along with his monotonous

voice like the thump of old tires.

Night covers the moon to lock her in place,
and her days pass like a long week in hell.

8 comments:

susan said...

Simile in overdrive. lol I concede this is no easy challenge. Maybe I need a few more reads, but I'm having a hard time identifying the story. Given the number of images, I need space between them and more storyline to connects them. Still, you did find a way to embellish the phrases. Thanks for the read.

tumblewords said...

I wasn't sure if my life line was long enough to connect all the similes into a lengthy coherent piece...like I've never used so many likes in my entire life! I could be laughing, or not, but abstract works for me on this prompt...

paisley said...

well at least yours makes some sense and has some semblance of order... i am afraid i had no clue what was going on with this one,,, so i wrote a freaking epic!!!!!

deathsweep said...

Maybe I don't know enough to know the difference but I sure like it!

gautami tripathy said...

I like what deathsweep said!

Do your own thing..that's my motto!

SA said...

I like it the story is hard to follow for me but I enjoyed it.

Michelle Johnson said...

Tumblewords, I think you did a very good job here. I think this is the longest poem I have read by you. The writing extension agrees with you. Will we be seeing more of these poems from you? Thanks for sharing. Have a nice night. Happy Writing~

Mariacristina said...

I imagine a woman on a walk, finding a rose, and thinking about images from the days recently lived, imagining the days ahead.

The influence of the many haikus you write is strong in this poem. The reader is challenged to find the meaning between the lines, as many haiku ask us to do.

I found this exercise very challenging, partly because there were so many phrases. I prefer to write shorter poems myself, but this exercise required us to fit in 11 phrases. You did an excellent job.